Archive for September, 2018

4PM Or­der Crys­tal Ball

De­part­ment Head: I need every­one to let me know a day ahead if they want to use the car and that means whether or not you’ll be late be­cause of traf­fic.
Work­er: But how will we know we are stuck in traf­fic un­til we are ac­tu­al­ly stuck?
De­part­ment Head: That’s why I need to know a day ahead of time whether you’ll be late be­cause of traf­fic.

626 Coro­n­a­do Ter­race
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: james Landry

3PM Bake Sale

Teacher #1: What are they rais­ing all this mon­ey for?
Teacher #2: For this la­dy in the clean­ing crew. Ap­par­ent­ly, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hun­dred bucks that she was plan­ning to send home to her fam­i­ly in Mex­i­co.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hun­dred bucks? Since I start­ed work­ing here, I lost every­thing.

444 Pleas­antville Road
Bri­ar­cliff Manor, New York

Just Left a Job in Urophil­ia, Penn­syl­va­nia

Job ap­pli­cant #1: No job is worth hav­ing to give some­one my pee in a plas­tic cup!
Job ap­pli­cant #2: Uh-oh, you’re re­fus­ing the drug test?
Job ap­pli­cant #1: Oh, it’s just a drug test? I thought that man­ag­er guy was just some sort of pee-pee per­vert.

5760 High­way 80
Pearl, Mis­sis­sip­pi

Over­heard by: Brain Danc­ing