Coworker on phone: What? So even for a million pounds you wouldn't let her sit on your face?!
Soho
London
England
Archive for May, 2018
Hansel and Gretel Get Lost in Their Own Office
Coworker #1: Another thing I recommend for you website is breadcrumb navigation, which…
Coworker #2: You know, now they have GPS.
Santa Barbara, California
What With the Gulf Turmoil Spill
Loan officer: Things are uncertain in America. They want to cash out on their equity because things are turmoilous.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Note to Self: Stop Being Creepy
Lady peon: Beautiful day, isn’t it?
Male peon: Sure is — some fine weather here.
Lady peon: I hope it lasts, but I don’t know about this weekend — I’ve heard it might get cool.
Male peon: Yeah, that must be hard for women.
Lady peon: What?
Male peon: Yeah, it must hard trying to figure out what to wear — shorts, skorts, capris, pants, skirts. Guys don’t have that problem.
Lady peon: Okay. You have a good day.
Geneseo, New York
Every Banjo Song Sounds Like “Dueling Banjos”
Proofreader, warily: Your “Cat Peed on my Banjo” song sounds suspiciously like “Dueling Banjos”!
Washington, DC
Arlo’s Cursed to Wander the World Alone ’til He Can Make a Woman Laugh
Engineer cleaning out her purse: Hey look! I had four cereal bars in there!
Geeky coworker: Look at the way those are laying next to each other on the desk, one right next to the other… Those aren’t cereal, they are parallel universes!
Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The Surly Programmer
Another Touching Office Quote
IT manager: So do you want to come and find me this afternoon? We can talk about that thing.
Receptionist: Sure, I'm having it a manicure at 2.30, we can do it after that.
IT manager: Okay, but won't you have to wait for your nails to dry?
Receptionist: Oh, am I going to have to touch something?
IT manager: No, don't worry, you won't have to touch anything.
London
England
Business Has Been Crappy Everywhere
Coworker on phone to business contact: So, are you talking about fecal year 2008 or 2009?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: analyst
Claire's Salamander Had Been the Beginning and the End of Her Interest in Biology
Receptionist, after seeing picture of a child born with no hands: That's terrible! So do they grow back?
University of Miami
Coral Gables, Florida
Overheard by: Guy Who Originally Found the Picture
11AM Update Data
Co-worker: He’s either “dead” or “passed away.”
9111 East Douglas Avenue
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Nate