Archive for May, 2018

I'm For Same-Sex Sandwiches!

<b>vp:</b> you're brave for bringing a chick-fil-a bag into the office.
<b>president:</b> what? Why?
<b>vp:</b> apparently the founder is openly anti gay marriage and donates to anti-gay causes.
<b>president:</b> of for fuck's sake… (yells to the rest of the office) I'm not against gay marriage, I just wanted a fucking chicken sandwich, okay?

Fort Mill, SC


Note to Self: Stop Being Creepy

Lady peon: Beautiful day, isn’t it?
Male peon: Sure is — some fine weather here.
Lady peon: I hope it lasts, but I don’t know about this weekend — I’ve heard it might get cool.
Male peon: Yeah, that must be hard for women.
Lady peon: What?
Male peon: Yeah, it must hard trying to figure out what to wear — shorts, skorts, capris, pants, skirts. Guys don’t have that problem.
Lady peon: Okay. You have a good day.

Geneseo, New York

Arlo’s Cursed to Wander the World Alone ’til He Can Make a Woman Laugh

Engineer cleaning out her purse: Hey look! I had four cereal bars in there!
Geeky coworker: Look at the way those are laying next to each other on the desk, one right next to the other… Those aren’t cereal, they are parallel universes!

Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: The Surly Programmer

Another Touching Office Quote

IT manager: So do you want to come and find me this afternoon? We can talk about that thing.
Receptionist: Sure, I'm having it a manicure at 2.30, we can do it after that.
IT manager: Okay, but won't you have to wait for your nails to dry?
Receptionist: Oh, am I going to have to touch something?
IT manager: No, don't worry, you won't have to touch anything.

London
England