Archive for May, 2018

Note to Self: Stop Be­ing Creepy

La­dy pe­on: Beau­ti­ful day, is­n’t it?
Male pe­on: Sure is — some fine weath­er here.
La­dy pe­on: I hope it lasts, but I don’t know about this week­end — I’ve heard it might get cool.
Male pe­on: Yeah, that must be hard for women.
La­dy pe­on: What?
Male pe­on: Yeah, it must hard try­ing to fig­ure out what to wear — shorts, sko­rts, capris, pants, skirts. Guys don’t have that prob­lem.
La­dy pe­on: Okay. You have a good day.

Gene­seo, New York

Ar­lo’s Cursed to Wan­der the World Alone ’til He Can Make a Woman Laugh

En­gi­neer clean­ing out her purse: Hey look! I had four ce­re­al bars in there!
Geeky cowork­er: Look at the way those are lay­ing next to each oth­er on the desk, one right next to the oth­er… Those aren’t ce­re­al, they are par­al­lel uni­vers­es!

Rich­mond Road
Cleve­land, Ohio

Over­heard by: The Surly Pro­gram­mer

An­oth­er Touch­ing Of­fice Quote

IT man­ag­er: So do you want to come and find me this af­ter­noon? We can talk about that thing.
Re­cep­tion­ist: Sure, I’m hav­ing it a man­i­cure at 2.30, we can do it af­ter that.
IT man­ag­er: Okay, but won’t you have to wait for your nails to dry?
Re­cep­tion­ist: Oh, am I go­ing to have to touch some­thing?
IT man­ag­er: No, don’t wor­ry, you won’t have to touch any­thing.


I’m Sure They Felt a Vague Sense of Dis­com­fort

Dude: I bought a tea to­day in the first time in months.
Chick: I’m proud of you…?
Dude: Well, I threw it away when I got back here.
Chick: What? Why?
Dude: There was­n’t any sug­ar in it.
Chick: Did you ask for sweet tea? Wait, we’re in the South — it should just be as­sumed you want sweet tea.
Dude: Yeah, I know, right? But it was­n’t.
Chick: You should have asked them if they just weren’t cater­ing to their south­ern cus­tomers and made a scene. That would have been fun.
Dude: Well, I did yell at them. I was, like, four miles away at the time, but I was re­al­ly cussing them out.

8220 Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na