Archive for January, 2018

Don’t Put Him to Sleep Until After the Raise

Employee: Why can’t you just install that for me?
Supervisor: Because I’m not going to spend an hour out of my day installing this on your crappy computer only to find out that it still doesn’t work and end up spending even more of my precious time trying to fix something that isn’t fixable and wind up making my life hell by hearing you bitch about this all the time. Only to make you happy.
Employee: So, is that a no?
Supervisor: You’re damn right it is.
Employee: Well, then can I just get a new computer so I won’t have this problem?
Supervisor: Fine. Anything to get you off my back.
Employee: Can I get a raise?
Supervisor: Don’t push it.
Employee: I think you need to take a nap.

1801 E. 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio

No Thanks– I Have Them on Speed Dial.

CSR to friend: So apparently my lymphedema makes me more likely to get cancer in the future…
Boss, interrupting: That’s a relief. Not that I’d wish cancer on you. More the fact that you’re more likely to get it than me. I like that sort of news. We need more of that around here! (walks off).
CSR’s friend: Here’s HR’s number.

Newcastle
England

Overheard by: Trying to hide