Archive for 2017

Let’s Just Say “If Bob Had an Ap­point­ment to Ren­dezvous with His Ho­mo­sex­u­al Lover”…

Cowork­er, dur­ing meet­ing: For in­stance, if Bob had a den­tist ap­point­ment, we would need some­one to cov­er the phones that day.
Boss: Are you kid­ding? Bob does­n’t go to the den­tist, have you smelled his breath?

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

You Can Pool Your Ig­no­rance, but It Nev­er Turns In­to Milk

Male: No, I’m sure it said “buf­fa­lo moz­zarel­la.“
Fe­male #1: Well, I know moz­zarel­la is made from cow’s milk.
Male: Maybe it’s from Buf­fa­lo, NY.
Fe­male #1: Is that where moz­zarel­la is from?
Male: Maybe.
Fe­male #2: Is goat cheese made from goats?
Wait­ress: No, usu­al­ly from the milk.

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Ad: Har­vey Kei­t­el Is… Bad Ad­min!

Techie: We should close the front doors or turn off the a/c to save some pow­er, since it’s black­out sea­son.
Bad ad­min: I can tell you’re paid on salary.
Techie: Uh, hmm?
Bad ad­min: I get paid hourly, there­fore I like black­outs. If there’s a black­out, I get to sit at my desk and do noth­ing for a few hours.

San­ta Bar­bara, Cal­i­for­nia