Archive for 2017

… She Was Telling Me a Point­less Sto­ry.

Ea­ger pe­on: Did I tell you I had a dream about Whoopi? It’s so fun­ny, be­cause — and you’ll find this fun­ny — it’s so weird, I promise you. I had this dream with Whoopi, I guess be­cause she’s on The View now, and I had this the week­end be­fore she was on The View, and I had this dream that it was just me and Whoopi and we were all alone–
Cowork­er, in­ter­rupt­ing: –I had a dream about your mom.

At­lanta, Geor­gia

How Does One Judge a Kegel Ex­er­cise Con­test?

Woman #1: Maybe it fell out be­cause her vagi­na had no…tone.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #3: Right, no Kegel’s.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Right, you are sup­posed to do Kegel’s all day.
Woman #2: Since when?
Woman #1: From when you are 20. Or have a lot of sex.
Woman #3: I’d rather have a lot of sex than do Kegel’s, but I do them, too.
Woman #2: What? My vagi­na is fine with­out ei­ther one. Don’t tell my hus­band that, ei­ther.
Woman #3: You’ll be sor­ry when you are old­er.
Woman #1: You nev­er did Kegel’s? We used to have con­tests at my oth­er job.

On­ly man in the meet­ing walks in.

Woman #2: Well! What do men have to do?
Woman #3, smil­ing sweet­ly: Noth­ing. Men are per­fect.

Bergen Coun­ty, New Jer­sey