Archive for 2017

If Our Cus­tomers Won’t Be­have, We Fire Them

VP on phone with an­gry cus­tomer: Well, I’m sor­ry that no­body has been here to take your calls or re­turn your mes­sages yet. We’ve been busy in the of­fice late­ly… Yes, I un­der­stand it’s frus­trat­ing, but we’re do­ing all we can… Okay, look Lar­ry*, look — the rea­son no­body’s here when­ev­er you call is be­cause we just got caller ID last week, and every­body ig­nores you be­cause no­body wants to deal with you be­cause you’re an ass­hole… Yeah, I heard you were a re­al piece of work to our re­cep­tion­ist… You’re an ass­hole! Yeah? Well, I don’t care if we have your busi­ness any­more. Ass­hole!

Beltsville, Mary­land

Over­heard by: The abused re­cep­tion­ist

The Court Lim­it­ed Mom to an In­flat­able Car

Girl #1: Hey, when is that fes­ti­val?
Girl #2: I think it’s some­time in the be­gin­ning of May?
Girl #1: We should to­tal­ly go.
Girl #2: Yes… It will be fun, we can run over pedes­tri­ans like your mom did that one time.
Girl #1: Oh yeah! I for­got about that…
Girl #2: Ha­ha, she just kept dri­ving.

Greene Tur­tle, Main Street
Bel Air, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Glyn­nisO

…Brag­ging.

Cowork­er on cell: I don’t mean to brag, but I am on YouTube…

Swift­wa­ter, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: wook­ie