Archive for 2017

As All Brook­lyn Wel­fare Moth­ers Know, Nails Are More Im­por­tant than Par­ent­ing

Ghet­to woman: I’m on­ly here be­cause I got a gift cer­tifi­cate. I hate Man­hat­tan. I nev­er come here. I can’t stand it. Every­one is just so rude. All the time. So rude. I would nev­er be able to keep my mouth shut to some of these peo­ple.
Nail tech­ni­cian: Where do you work?
Ghet­to woman: Over here, at sixth and 23rd. I hate it though. That’s why I live out in the coun­ty.
Nail tech­ni­cian: Oh! Where do you live?
Ghet­to woman: Brook­lyn. Tom­my! Sit still in that chair for god­sakes!!

14th St & 6th Ave
New York City

Over­heard by: se­ri­ous­ly?

(Whis­per, Whis­per) You Mean Those Yel­low Peo­ple Live Here Now?!

Pe­on, with Asian friend: Boss, I’d like to in­tro­duce you to my friend from Char­lotte, Amy*. She’s stayin’ out here with me for a few days, then head­ing back home.
Boss: Nice to meet you! Where are you from?
Amy: Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na.
Boss: How long have you lived there?
Amy: I was born there — 25 years now.
Boss: Wow! How do you like it?
Amy: Like what?
Boss: Amer­i­ca!
Amy: I, uh… I like it?
Boss: Do you think you’ll ever go back?
Amy: Yeah, I leave Sun­day.
Boss: Wow! Well, I hope you en­joyed your Amer­i­can va­ca­tion!

Of­fice par­ty
Nashville, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: Jesse