Archive for 2017

They Keep A Few Wheel­chair Seats on Hold in Case Any Celebri­ty Crip­ples Show Up

Cus­tomer: You mean you don’t have any wheel­chair seats left for that mati­nee?
As­sis­tant man­ag­er: No ma’am. We have a lot of se­nior cit­i­zen groups that come to mati­nees and they tend to fill up our wheel­chair seats.
Cus­tomer: Well, I would say put me and my hus­band in two reg­u­lar seats, but he does­n’t have any legs!
Hus­band: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
As­sis­tant man­ag­er: Um­mm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.

Shenan­doah Uni­ver­si­ty The­atre tick­et of­fice
Win­ches­ter, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Jen­nifer Ellerbe

What Man Would­n’t Want a Shot Of Brandy?

Cowork­er #1: I had to have a spinal when my child was born.
Cowork­er #2: I had an epidur­al, but I could still feel my coon.
Cowork­er #1: You call your stuff a coon? Do you of­fer your “coon” to your hus­band?
Cowork­er #2: No, I just say, “you want a shot of leg?“
Cowork­er #1: Gross.

Nashville, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: big­cute­beach­girl