Archive for 2017

There Can Be No Obe­si­ty with­out De­nial

Of­fice girl #1: I don’t like let­tuce.
Of­fice girl #2: You don’t eat let­tuce? Why’d you get a sal­ad?
Of­fice girl #1: Be­cause I need to lose weight! I’m get­ting fat!
Of­fice girl #2: What else is that in your sal­ad?
Of­fice girl #1: Chick­en.
Of­fice girl #2: Grilled or fried?
Of­fice girl #1: Um­mm… Fried…
Of­fice girl #2: Uh-huh… Is that cheese I see in there?
Of­fice girl #1: Yes!
Of­fice girl #2: And are those Ba­con Bits?
Of­fice girl #1: Shut up! And no, it’s re­al ba­con!
Of­fice girl #2: And you aren’t gonna eat the let­tuce?
Of­fice girl #1: I will stab you with my fork! Go away!

8220 Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Glad and Sor­ry, Ac­tu­al­ly

Cowork­er #1: I’ve had “Come Danc­ing” by The Kinks in my head all morn­ing.
Cowork­er #2: I’m glad you said “by The Kinks”.

One World Fi­nan­cial Cen­ter
Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Bryan

How Nice Of Mr. Hefn­er to Loan One Out

Grad stu­dent: A few months ago she said it was na­tion­al bring-your-bun­ny-to-work day– which I’m pret­ty sure she made up…so when I walked by her cube she had the bun­ny in a makeshift fort be­tween her purse and some binders. And the next time I walked by, eight mem­bers of the se­nior staff were sit­ting in a cir­cle on the floor play­ing with the bun­ny in the mid­dle.

Ar­ling­ton, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: In­tern