Archive for 2017

2PM Rais­ing Head­count

Re­cruiter for aid pro­grams in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark John­son* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He does­n’t hear well, but would love to see some com­bat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Man­ag­er: Um­mm…
Re­cruiter: Dude, sar­casm?

7250 Wood­mont Av­enue
Bethes­da, Mary­land

I Nev­er Should’ve Shown Grand­ma How to Use the In­ter­net

Em­ploy­ee: Hi, can I help you?

Cus­tomer’s cell rings.

Cus­tomer: Hold on a sec… [an­swers cell] Hey! did you talk to Je­re­my*? He is pissed at you… Why? ‘Cause you put gay shit all over his My­Space! There is a guy with a huge dick on his My­Space! Yeah! You bet­ter help him get it off ’cause he does­n’t know how! Okay, bye.
Em­ploy­ee: Uh­hh…
Cus­tomer: Yeah, can I get a sun­dae, please?

1050 Mon­tauk High­way
Copi­ague, New York

Over­heard by: i hate cus­tomers…