Archive for 2017

3PM Cof­fee Break

Work­er #1: How are you feel­ing? Com­ing down with any­thing?
Work­er #2: No, but it seems like every­one else is.
Work­er #1: If you get sick, I’m a doc­tor so I can take care of you.
I’ve got a BS, a CS and a DD. That’s a de­gree in Back Stab­bing, Cork-Screw­ing, and Dou­ble-Deal­ing

2320 West High­way 76
Bran­son, Mis­souri

And Let’s Face It, You Don’t Have Much Go­ing for You be­sides Your Looks

Girl #1: He is so shal­low!
Girl #2: Not at all, why would you say that?
Girl #1: ‘Cause he’s at­tract­ed to you.

3535 Mon­roe Dri­ve
South Bay, Cal­i­for­nia

And They Keep Slip­ping Out Of the Child Seats

Cube dweller #1: You’ve worked with gi­raffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, trans­port­ing them is a re­al pain. They go in an open trail­er, and every time you get to an over­pass, you have to ei­ther let air out of all the tires to fit un­der it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trail­er, walk them around the over­pass, get them back in the trail­er… It takes for­ev­er to get any­where.
Cube dweller #1: Can’t you just teach them to duck?
Cube dweller #2: (long pause) Not at those speeds.

Pearl Street
Dal­las, Texas

Over­heard by: Ex­plains gi­raffe-shaped div­ots in over­pass­es