Archive for October, 2017

Cornish Game Hens? Wtf?

Boss: I got two boxes of candy, 13 kinds of beer, 28 bottles of alcohol, 25 pounds of carne asada, 3 kinds of ribs, Pink's hot dogs, 6 Cornish game hens, and Angus hamburgers. I think we're set for the barbecue tomorrow. Oh, I forgot to tell you, they're filming another porno here on Saturday. Tell all your friends to come.

Los Angeles, California

I Could Tell He Was About to Blow

Male coworker to female coworker: I went to Burning Man and got propositioned by a man dressed as a dandelion…

Chico, California


10AM Translation Services

Engineeron phone to production guy: Let me call you back. I might have someone check the Mandarin label for correctness.
. . .
Engineer on phone to production guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by tomorrow at 8:00am to check the label. Is that OK?
Production guy: No.
Engineer: Oh, is that a problem?
Production guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much better looking Chinese girls in the building.
Engineer: Uh…You are on speaker phone.
Three-second silence.
Production guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.

800 Beaty Street
Davidson, North Carolina

Just a Little One

Cubicle #1: Oh no, today is Tuesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Umm… Today is the 12th. Tomorrow is the 13th. And humpday!
Cubicle #1: Oh no! Wednesday the 13th! Does that mean anything?
Cubicle #2: Well, it’s the day before Valentine’s Day. You got your wife something already, right?
Cubicle #1: Dang! I better think of something quick, right?
Cubicle #2: You haven’t gotten a card or anything?
Cubicle #1: Well, I did actually get her a gift. But I opened up my trunk yesterday and it smelled funny so I took it back.
Cubicle #2: … It wasn’t a puppy, was it?

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina