Archive for October, 2017

Cor­nish Game Hens? Wtf?

Boss: I got two box­es of can­dy, 13 kinds of beer, 28 bot­tles of al­co­hol, 25 pounds of carne asa­da, 3 kinds of ribs, Pink’s hot dogs, 6 Cor­nish game hens, and An­gus ham­burg­ers. I think we’re set for the bar­be­cue to­mor­row. Oh, I for­got to tell you, they’re film­ing an­oth­er porno here on Sat­ur­day. Tell all your friends to come.

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

I Could Tell He Was About to Blow

Male cowork­er to fe­male cowork­er: I went to Burn­ing Man and got propo­si­tioned by a man dressed as a dan­de­lion…

Chico, Cal­i­for­nia

10AM Trans­la­tion Ser­vices

En­gi­neeron phone to pro­duc­tion guy: Let me call you back. I might have some­one check the Man­darin la­bel for cor­rect­ness.

En­gi­neer on phone to pro­duc­tion guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by to­mor­row at 8:00am to check the la­bel. Is that OK?
Pro­duc­tion guy: No.
En­gi­neer: Oh, is that a prob­lem?
Pro­duc­tion guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much bet­ter look­ing Chi­nese girls in the build­ing.
En­gi­neer: Uh…You are on speak­er phone.
Three-sec­ond si­lence.
Pro­duc­tion guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.

800 Beaty Street
David­son, North Car­oli­na

Just a Lit­tle One

Cu­bi­cle #1: Oh no, to­day is Tues­day the 13th! Does that mean any­thing?
Cu­bi­cle #2: Umm… To­day is the 12th. To­mor­row is the 13th. And hump­day!
Cu­bi­cle #1: Oh no! Wednes­day the 13th! Does that mean any­thing?
Cu­bi­cle #2: Well, it’s the day be­fore Valen­tine’s Day. You got your wife some­thing al­ready, right?
Cu­bi­cle #1: Dang! I bet­ter think of some­thing quick, right?
Cu­bi­cle #2: You haven’t got­ten a card or any­thing?
Cu­bi­cle #1: Well, I did ac­tu­al­ly get her a gift. But I opened up my trunk yes­ter­day and it smelled fun­ny so I took it back.
Cu­bi­cle #2: … It was­n’t a pup­py, was it?

Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na