Archive for September, 2017

At the Green­peace Pros­thet­ic Whale Pe­nis Fac­to­ry

Male cowork­er #1: Well, we played with it enough, it’s not hang­ing out as much.
Male su­per­vi­sor: Yeah, if you beat on it enough, even­tu­al­ly these things go in.
(un­com­fort­able si­lence)
Male su­per­vi­sor: Do you think I could go see it?
Male cowork­er #2: Yeah, just make sure you don’t pull on it!

Rich­land, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: I think they were talk­ing about a serv­er…

Um, This Is Chuck E. Cheese, Sir.

Man­ag­er on phone: Mak­ing kids restau­rant-friend­ly… Here’s a tip, hire a babysit­ter. The num­ber one prob­lem with the hous­ing bust is that in­stead of mov­ing out of my hip, edgy neigh­bor­hood when they want to start a fam­i­ly, cou­ples can’t, so they breed in place, which to­tal­ly in­con­ve­niences me.

Dal­las, Texas

Over­heard by: iheartmaps