Office guy, yelling to another office: Hey, whatcha doin' in there?
Naïve girl: Putting my computer together.
Office guy: Are you on the floor?
Naïve girl: Yeah, why?
Office guy: On your knees? (starts laughing)
High Point, North Carolina
Archive for September, 2017
Basil Finally Recovers from New Year’s Eve
Man smoking outside office door: What year is this anyway? It’s 2006, isn’t it?
Goswell Road
London
England
Overheard by: Ava
Mr. Frost Was More Of a Character Assassin
Hick #1: Oh, Frost/Nixon. I wanted to see this.
Hick #2: What's it about?
Hick #1: It's about when Nixon gets assassinated.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: I just work here
No One Needs to Know I Bought Encino Man
Coworker #1: The new shredder shreds CDs… Cool.
Coworker #2: Yeah! And it shreds DVDs, too!
Columbia, Maryland
Overheard by: it says moops
Perhaps Better Equipped, Though
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
Another Tip from My Big Book of Rainy-Day Activities
Female peon: I love eating a rare steak and then sopping up all the juice with some bread.
Male peon: You know what I like? To puncture a hole in a small animal that runs by my house and catch the blood like a fountain.
Female peon: Um, yeah, that would work, too.
4653 Cotton Gin Loop
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: RebeccaB
Your Editors Are Still Giggling About “Conshohocken”
Office drone: That guy is like a cross between a goldfish and a pimple. He doesn't have much going on between his ears, he's unsightly, and he never goes away as fast as you want him to.
Conshohocken, Pennsylvania
At the Greenpeace Prosthetic Whale Penis Factory
Male coworker #1: Well, we played with it enough, it's not hanging out as much.
Male supervisor: Yeah, if you beat on it enough, eventually these things go in.
(uncomfortable silence)
Male supervisor: Do you think I could go see it?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, just make sure you don't pull on it!
Richland, Washington
Overheard by: I think they were talking about a server…
Right after Our Mandatory Three PM Mani/Pedi
Supervisor: Hey, we’re all here today… Let’s have a meeting!
Employee #1: About what?
Employee #2: American Idol!
Financial center
New York, New York
Overheard by: working hard
Minneapolis' Dedicated German-American Sex Workers
Office gal #1: Yeah, cause we usually have them all laid out: who we're gonna do, and when.
Office gal #2: We usually do them Tuesdays and Wednesdays, right Anne?
Office gal #1: Yeah, we do it Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
Office gal #2: How many are there to do?
Office gal #1: Eight.
Office gal #2: So that's two each to do. Do we know who's doing who yet?
Office gal #1: No, that's why she's upset, we don't have them laid out.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: That's Quality Control for Ya