Archive for September, 2017

At the Greenpeace Prosthetic Whale Penis Factory

Male coworker #1: Well, we played with it enough, it’s not hanging out as much.
Male supervisor: Yeah, if you beat on it enough, eventually these things go in.
(uncomfortable silence)
Male supervisor: Do you think I could go see it?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, just make sure you don’t pull on it!

Richland, Washington

Overheard by: I think they were talking about a server…

Um, This Is Chuck E. Cheese, Sir.

Manager on phone: Making kids restaurant-friendly… Here’s a tip, hire a babysitter. The number one problem with the housing bust is that instead of moving out of my hip, edgy neighborhood when they want to start a family, couples can’t, so they breed in place, which totally inconveniences me.

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: iheartmaps