Grunt #1: What’s wrong with Debbie*?
Grunt #2: Uh, something’s wrong with the gonads on her vocal cords.
Grunt #1: You mean ‘nodules’?
Grunt #2: Oh, yeah.
Colleyville, Texas
Overheard by: quite amused
Archive for August, 2017
…And Help Me Swipe Wallets.
Woman to child: Some people are just wicked. Put that pumpkin back.
Wal-Mart
Aberdeen, Washington
…But Think Of It As an Investment in Your Future.
Doctor, on conference call: I might be teaching you to suck eggs…
Alexandria, Virginia
2PM Proofing White Paper
Suit: How do you spell “dyslexia”? I keep mixing up the letters.
3 Second Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Bringing the Grand Total to Three
Young, blonde female: Um, wow, I just cracked my spine and grew, like, an inch.
Male supervisor: Yeah, I just grew, like, an inch watching you.
3rd Street and Colorado Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Miss Informed
Polish That Résumé, Sweetie
Female employee: I'm not really doing anything except drinking caffeine in my office and looking at unicorn websites. I found a unicorn name generator…
Denver, Colorado
I'm Really Psyched About the Mona Lisa
Worker #1: Yeah, we're excited to see Scotland.
Worker #2: What's on your list to see in Scotland?
Worker #1: Well I really want to see Stonehenge!
Worker #2: Stonehenge is in England.
Worker #1: Wait…what did you ask?
Redmond, Washington
Those Red Pills Taste Like Cherry!
Woman: What the hell? People disappear like it’s the damn Matrix.
32 Old Slip
New York, NY
Overheard by: Kevz
She Evaluates Everything on That Scale
Man in plastic surgeon’s waiting room: Why are you doing this?
Woman: Well, it costs less than a pool… but more than a Jacuzzi tub.
12 Greenwich Avenue
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: jenny power
I Think I Just Did, Ma'am
Receptionist to FedEx guy: You want my little box, don't you? I was wondering when you were going to come!
Kissimmee, Florida
Overheard by: Ijustworkhere