Archive for July, 2017

Lie Down With Cats, Wake Up With Kit­tens, I Sup­pose

Girl in copy room to cowork­er: So, yeah, I was run­ning late this morn­ing be­cause I had to throw away a cat.
Cowork­er: That sucks. Your boobs look good in that shirt, though.
Girl in copy room: Hey, thanks!

Beau­mont, Texas

But the Odds Must Be Big­ger

As­sis­tant: This Ru­bik’s cube is a lit­tle hard­er than this one.
Man­ag­er: Ac­tu­al­ly they’re the same, one’s just small­er.
As­sis­tant: Yeah, but this one’s hard­er to solve…
Man­ag­er: No, I mean math­e­mat­i­cal­ly it’s ex­act­ly the same.

2301 M Street, NW
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: To­bias

Why “Can I Help You With Any­thing?” Can Be a Dan­ger­ous Ques­tion.

Large ef­fem­i­nate guy with Ger­man ac­cent: These are the metal­lic pen­cils you do not have! (waves cray­ola box at em­ploy­ee)
Em­ploy­ee: Okay… Sir?
Ger­man guy: Do you know vat I am mak­ing? A por­trait of Al Pa­ci­no! To re­al­ly cap­ture his man­li­ness! Once I did a pic­ture in char­coal but my art teacher said to re­al­ly get the ef­fect, I vould haf to burn it!

Joan­n’s Fab­rics
Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: many­bells­down