Archive for July, 2017

Lie Down With Cats, Wake Up With Kittens, I Suppose

Girl in copy room to coworker: So, yeah, I was running late this morning because I had to throw away a cat.
Coworker: That sucks. Your boobs look good in that shirt, though.
Girl in copy room: Hey, thanks!

Beaumont, Texas


But the Odds Must Be Bigger

Assistant: This Rubik’s cube is a little harder than this one.
Manager: Actually they’re the same, one’s just smaller.
Assistant: Yeah, but this one’s harder to solve…
Manager: No, I mean mathematically it’s exactly the same. 

2301 M Street, NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Tobias

Why “Can I Help You With Anything?” Can Be a Dangerous Question.

Large effeminate guy with German accent: These are the metallic pencils you do not have! (waves crayola box at employee)
Employee: Okay… Sir?
German guy: Do you know vat I am making? A portrait of Al Pacino! To really capture his manliness! Once I did a picture in charcoal but my art teacher said to really get the effect, I vould haf to burn it!

Joann’s Fabrics
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: manybellsdown