Therapist #1: The client missed 80% of his appointments over the past two months.
Therapist #2: He was supposed to have 80% of his sessions in two months!?
Washoe Valley, Nevada
Archive for June, 2017
It’s the Only Thing She Knows How to Say in English
Middle-aged lady to another: You sit down and I’ll take you for a ride…
Edmonton
Canadia
Sometimes Kindness Is Weakness
Coworker to another: I don’t think whipped cream is being abused, I think they’re imagining it.
Ottawa
Canadia
But Only after Three or Four Kamikazes
Office peon: She acts like Japan!
Carnegie Center
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Did I hear that right?
Jason Learns of Places Even Worse Than Indianapolis
Busboy: I’m joining the national guard next week. You get lots of tuition for only one weekend a month and two weeks a year.
Manager: Yeah, right. Pick me up a key chain from Baghdad, would you?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
“Quaint Pretense for Money”?
Boss man’s phone cell on auto text-to-speech mode: Taint defense for dummies.
Baffled employee: What did you phone just say?
Silver Lake, California
When 80s Nostalgia Goes Horribly Awry
Coworker: Is that a copy of Ted Nugent’s new book?
Boss: It is. He and his wife wrote it. Grill It and Kill It.
Coworker: Is that him on the cover? With his wife?
Boss: Yeah. She’s hot, isn’t she?
Coworker: She really is. Way to go, Nuge.
Boss: He must have started seeing her when he was in Damn Yankees. What was their song?
Coworker: “Can you take me high enough…”
Boss: Yeah. Those really were the days.
249 West 17th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Will Leitch
And Drunk
Coworker: The last time I slept that well at my desk I was two months pregnant.
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: BWC
5PM That’s a Wrap
CSR: How do I transfer calls?
Teller: You’re an idiot wrapped in moron.
845 North Gilbert Road
Gilbert, Arizona
Gallery IT Guy: Goggles Are Not Art!
Art director #1: I need a picture of a Doublemint gum wrapper.
Art director #2: Just Google it.
Art director #1: Oh, okay… Hey, they blocked Google!
Art director #2: They didn’t block Google! I use it 30 times a day!
Art director #1: G‑O-G-G-L‑E?
Art director #2: … That’s ‘goggle.’
151 West 34th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: risdchic
