Archive for April, 2017

Chicks Get All the Cool Medical Excuses

Female office worker: My mother’s having surgery to remove a tumor in her breast today, so count me out for the lunch meeting, I’m going to wait for a phone call on her condition.
Male office worker (uncomfortably): Uh, I hope she’s ok. Have you heard from Chris today?
Female office worker: No, he’s coming in, right?
Male office worker: As far as I know, hope he doesn’t have breast cancer.

Law Firm
New York City, New York

You Can Laugh– Just Pretend You’re Coughing

Female employee #1: So you’re telling me you don’t understand?
Female employee #2: Of course I don’t get it, I’m legally blonde at heart, and Polish to boot!
Male employee: I don’t know if I’m allowed to laugh at that… Because its actually kinda racist.

Denver, Colorado


Female coworker: I would never leave you such a message, nor tell you to suck anything.

Raleigh, North Carolina

I Can Be Suborned, Bob

Colleague, stirring powdered cocoa mix into yogurt: Dammit, no one ever pays any attention to me until I do something just slightly gross, and then there’s always a witness!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Sometimes I Find Myself Accidentally Throwing Rocks at Them

Coworker #1: Hey, Shaniqua can you hand me that coffee?
Coworker #2 (very angry): My name is not Shaniqua – that’s racist. Just because I’m black doesn’t mean I have a name like that.
Coworker #1 (defensively): That isn’t racism – it’s a joke. Calling someone by a name that isn’t theirs isn’t racist. You shouldn’t be so quick to call someone a racist.
Coworker #3 (after some consideration): I thought about what you said earlier and you’re right. Besides, everyone is racist to some degree. Even myself. I find that I’m racist against fat people even though I don’t mean to be.

Duluth, Georgia