Archive for 2016

Well, Yes, But On­ly on an Evo­lu­tion­ary Time Scale

Young white girl: You need to wear sun­screen. My mom­my told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sun­screen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Re­al­ly?
Young black boy: I wear sun­screen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Re­al­ly?

Preschool
Austin, Texas

Over­heard by: Amused Pre‑K teacher

3PM Log­ging In

Sales guy: Sooo, how do I get on our in­tranet again?
His as­sis­tant: We put this on your Fa­vorites list, re­mem­ber? We’ve done this be­fore.
Sales guy: No.. no.. I’m not see­ing it.
As­sis­tant: Yes, the very first time I showed you how to log in, I had you add it to your Fa­vorites first.
Sales guy: I don’t know, but I know I’m not see­ing it.
As­sis­tant: Hmm, I can’t re­mem­ber if it was un­der a sub­fold­er or not.
Sales guy: What are you talk­ing about?

Pause

As­sis­tant: Okay, let’s start from the be­gin­ning… Open up your In­ter­net Ex­plor­er.…
Sales guy: Okay… done…
As­sis­tant: Now click on Fa­vorites.…
Sales guy: Oooh. Is it called [Com­pa­ny Inc]-home?
As­sis­tant: Mmm hmm. That would be it.
Cu­bi­cle neigh­bor: Is this the same voice you use to ex­plain things to your daugh­ter?

8220 Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

12PM Lunch

En­gi­neer: So, did you en­joy your Cin­co de Mayo?
Sec­re­tary: Um. I was in Rhode Is­land for the week­end…
En­gi­neer: Yeah, so?
Sec­re­tary: Ever been?
En­gi­neer: Yeah, cou­ple of times… what’s your point?
Sec­re­tary: Heh. Rhode Is­land is like the white-bread cap­i­tal, at least the part where I go is.
En­gi­neer: Okaayyy… so there was no Cin­co de Mayo cel­e­bra­tion?
Sec­re­tary: Dude, lemme put it this way for ya: It’s so damn white up there, they have white gar­den­ers. Mex­i­cans are like freakin’ nonex­is­tant up there. And don’t even get me start­ed on the nonex­is­tance of black peo­ple. Hell, the last time I saw a black per­son while I was up there was the one we brought with us…and she kept sin­gin’ “Mas­sa got me workin’ ” just to freak the rest of the whities out.

One Penn Plaza
New York, New York

Over­heard by: *snick­er*