Archive for 2016

I Am So Suing Myself

Intern #1: That whole team is full of white receivers.
Intern #2: What’s wrong with white receivers?
Intern #1: They’re slow, man. I hate to be racist, but they are slow.
Intern #2: Yeah…
Intern #1: Hey, can I be racist against my own race?

1555 Pearl Street
Boulder, Colorado

Well, Yes, But Only on an Evolutionary Time Scale

Young white girl: You need to wear sunscreen. My mommy told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Really?
Young black boy: I wear sunscreen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Really?

Preschool
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amused Pre-K teacher

3PM Logging In

Sales guy: Sooo, how do I get on our intranet again?
His assistant: We put this on your Favorites list, remember? We’ve done this before.
Sales guy: No.. no.. I’m not seeing it.
Assistant: Yes, the very first time I showed you how to log in, I had you add it to your Favorites first.
Sales guy: I don’t know, but I know I’m not seeing it.
Assistant: Hmm, I can’t remember if it was under a subfolder or not.
Sales guy: What are you talking about?

Pause

Assistant: Okay, let’s start from the beginning… Open up your Internet Explorer….
Sales guy: Okay… done…
Assistant: Now click on Favorites….
Sales guy: Oooh. Is it called [Company Inc]-home?
Assistant: Mmm hmm. That would be it.
Cubicle neighbor: Is this the same voice you use to explain things to your daughter?

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina