Archive for 2016

2PM Client Meet­ing

Man­ag­er #1: Do you think Christ­mas car­ols are ap­pro­pri­ate for when the
prospec­tive client comes in at 2?
Man­ag­er #2: What’s wrong with Christ­mas car­ols?
Man­ag­er #1: I just feel like it does­n’t rep­re­sent us.
Man­ag­er #2: You’re ask­ing the wrong per­son, be­cause I love christ­mas car­ols.
Un­der­ling: Well, [the CEO] is the one who put this playlist on.
Man­ag­er #1 & #2: Oh, okay.

552 Broad­way
New York, NY

I Have Some in My Trunk

Fat old creepy guy in­ter­rupt­ing three Asian girls: So how old is this guy?
Asian girl #1 (look­ing awk­ward­ly at friends): 18.
Asian girl #2: Yeah. (laughs) She likes them young.
Fat old creepy guy: Oooh! (pause) You can train him! Get a col­lar and a leash and a big stick like the ones my kids use to whack their pigs!

Sacra­men­to, Cal­i­for­nia

10AM De­part­ment Meet­ing

Boss: This is not an in­ter­ac­tive meet­ing, so no feed­back of any kind. Every cus­tomer who gives a com­mit­ment to­day will get a $350 Home De­pot gift­card. This is on­ly un­til the end of busi­ness to­day.
Loan Of­fi­cer: But I got a cus­tomer com­mit­ment yes­ter­day. Can I tell her that we will send her one?
Boss: Did­n’t I just say that this meet­ing is not in­ter­ac­tive? I won’t an­swer your stu­pid ques­tions.
Loan Of­fice: …So what’s the an­swer?

The boss storms out.

Loan Of­fi­cer: I’ll just ask him lat­er.

2700 Westch­ester Av­enue
Pur­chase, New York