Archive for 2016

I Over­heard That the Ge­nie is Still Laugh­ing at You

Co-work­er #1: Wan­na go in, say…10 min­utes? Or do you need longer?
Co-work­er #2: How about 15?
Co-work­er #1: I knew that was what you were go­ing to say!…I think I wast­ed my wish when I said, “I’d like to know what peo­ple are
go­ing to say, right be­fore they ac­tu­al­ly say it.”

1835 Ter­mi­nal Dri­ve
Rich­land, Wash­ing­ton

Could and Have

New chef: I got­ta take a dump.
Wait­er: There’s no toi­let seat in the em­ploy­ee bath­room.
New chef: Dude, I just got out of jail af­ter five years. I could shit in a pick­le buck­et in the mid­dle of our din­ing room and it would­n’t both­er me.

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

12PM Lunch

Cu­bi­cle girl: [Brad], want any­thing from Taco Bell? I’m mak­ing a run.

[Brad]: Yeah, I’ll go with you. But let me give you my or­der first.

Cu­bi­cle girl: But you’re com­ing with me.

[Brad]: I don’t want to for­get what I want. So I want the spicy chick­en, spicy, make sure it’s spicy…

250 Park Av­enue
New York, New York

What the Fire Said

Guy over PA sys­tem: May I have your at­ten­tion please. There has been a fire re­port­ed in the build­ing.
Co-Work­er: Well, that’s just an ex­cuse to go smoke.

East 13th Street
Cleve­land, Ohio

Over­heard by: block­ing the ex­it