Archive for 2016

Dude, Go for the Im­plants

In­come au­di­tor guy: I want to buy my fi­ance a gift like make-up.
In­come au­di­tor gal: Cool, how much you set for it?
In­come au­di­tor guy: 30 Egypt­ian pounds.
In­come au­di­tor gal: You could buy a blush­er with 30 EGP.
In­come au­di­tor guy: Well then, how about cheap make-up?
In­come au­di­tor gal: You can’t buy any­thing with 30 EGP.
In­come au­di­tor guy: Well how much do you think I need?
In­come au­di­tor gal: About 500 EGP to buy her one of those cute box­es that’s full of make-up and per­fumes.
In­come au­di­tor guy: With 500 EGP, I could send her to a plas­tic sur­geon and get change.

Trans­lat­ed from the Ara­bic.

Le Meri­di­en Maka­di Bay Ho­tel
South Hurgha­da, Egypt

Save That Kind Of Good Stuff for the Board Meet­ings

VP: What’s the name of the com­pa­ny I’m think­ing of? We’ve got a job with them.
En­gi­neer: Starts with…?
VP: A. A some­thing. Aaaaaaa…
En­gi­neer: Ass-fuck­ers anony­mous?
VP, qui­et­ly: Ass-fuck­ers anony­mous… Ass…
En­gi­neer: Yeah, AFA, but trust me, it’s not that. I just made that up.
VP, very loud­ly: Ass-fuck­ers anony­mous!?
En­gi­neer: Dude, can you not yell “ass-fuck­ers anony­mous” when I’m in your of­fice?

Pa­ter­son, New Jer­sey