Archive for 2016

How to Tell If Your Co-Work­er Is Ac­tu­al­ly a Ro­bot

Male ex­ec: I won’t be able to be at the pitch. My grand­fa­ther died.
Fe­male ex­ec: Oh my God, I’m so sor­ry.
Male ex­ec: It’s okay, I still have my oth­er grand­fa­ther.
Fe­male ex­ec: That’s why you have two chil­dren, right? If one of them dies, you’ve still got the oth­er one, so it’s not so sad.

Dream­works, 100 Uni­ver­sal Plaza
Uni­ver­sal City, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Shrek

5PM That’s a Wrap

Sec­re­tary: I’ve been mean­ing to ask you a ques­tion.
Lawyer: Sure, what’s up?
Sec­re­tary: So you’re In­di­an, right? I’m go­ing to an In­di­an fu­ner­al to­day. And I’m not sure how to act.
Lawyer: Well…you’re not sup­posed to laugh.
Sec­re­tary: But they’re so In­di­an that they’re go­ing to have her cre­mat­ed.
Lawyer: That does­n’t mean you can laugh. Al­so wear all white.

1425 K Street NW
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: callmea­hab