Archive for 2016

At Least None We Can Print

Cube dweller #1: Those guys out there in the ware­house are nice and seem to be do­ing well, but I don’t know that any of them are go­ing to go out of their way to be help­ful.
Cube dweller #2: You mean ‘proac­tive.‘
Cube dweller #1: Well, yeah…
Cube dweller #2: Jack* [ware­house guy] used that term with me once — ‘proac­tive.‘
Cube dweller #1: Uh-oh, maybe the dra­ma out there is his fault.
Cube dweller #2: See, I al­ways thought it was some­thing Jes­si­ca Simp­son used on her face, but he used it in a to­tal­ly dif­fer­ent way.
Cube dweller #1: … There’s no words to an­swer you right now…

Eng­land Street
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

4PM Con­sen­sus-Build­ing

Sales­per­son: But yeah, I agree with you — you should re­al­ly stop piss­ing on my shoes when we go to the toi­let to­geth­er.

Reih­strasse 28
Aachen, Ger­many

Over­heard by: PW

I’m Afraid I Do

Male ex­ec­u­tive di­rec­tor: She owns that law firm. We re­al­ly don’t need to send her a plaque.
Fe­male de­vel­op­ment di­rec­tor: I’m sor­ry?
Male ex­ec­u­tive di­rec­tor: Well, she re­al­ly did­n’t do any­thing be­sides mar­ry the own­er of the firm.
Fe­male de­vel­op­ment di­rec­tor: No, she made part­ner be­fore she mar­ried him. Every­thing she ac­com­plished was be­fore she was mar­ried.
Male ex­ec­u­tive di­rec­tor: Well, you know what I mean.

Bal­ti­more, Mary­land