That “Something” Was Obviously Subliminal Erotica

Marketing manager: I made it up based on logic…or something. 

1 Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois

I May Have Failed to Grasp Your Point

Office grunt: Well, you know what they say — when the lion king roars, the cows go running.

Garey Avenue
Pomona, California

3PM Easter Party

VP: This’ll be the director’s Easter present to you.
Coordinator: Oh, you mean I don’t get any eggs this year?
VP: No, you don’t.
Coordinator: Well, can you at least hide it so I can find it?
VP: Yes, we can do that. 

900 Simpson Street
St. Paul, Minnesota

In This Firm, Married Is Not the New Single

Female coworker #1: Wow, is that guy old?
Female coworker #2: Yeah.
Female coworker #1: I was wondering, since you were writing his will. He seemed all “grrrrrrr“ ‘!
Female coworker #2: Yeah… He’s married.

Utica, New York

Overheard by: Internet Meme

Miranda, You Get an Exemption ’til Your Eyebrows Grow Back

Boss: Okay, who’s not afraid of fire?

McLean, Virginia

Making an Idiot Feel Stupid: Priceless

Coworker #1: I paid $700 for it back in the mid-seventies.
Coworker #2: Wow…what was $700 worth back then?
Coworker #1: $700.

1932 Wynnton Road
Columbus, Georgia

I Suppose Urine Is a Definitive Answer.

Office manager to coworker’s dog who followed him into the office: Do you like this deal?

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: I talk to animals too

4PM Needs Some Fresh Air

Customer service: Is your desktop on the screen of your laptop?
Customer: Yes.
Customer service: Okay, go ahead and close all windows.
Customer: My apartment does not have any windows.

245 Crossroads Parkway
Bolingbrook, Illinois

3PM Second Opinion

Doctor #1: Where did you say the patient has been recently?
Doctor #2: Ummmmm, Ghana? Something like that?
Doctor #1: So, Africa.
Doctor #2: No, South America.

525 E 68^th Street
New York, New York

Eventually Bruce Willis Realized They Couldn’t Hear Him

Coworker #1 to coworkers #2 and #3, about their attire: You guys are opposites today. Actually, you cancel each other out. You’re, like, invisible! (looks around) Wh… Wh… Where’d they go?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: what a spectacle…