Female vegetarian coworker to male office executive at lunch pizza party: Keep your sausages to yourself!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Archive for September, 2016
1PM Lunch
Enginee: I’m gonna beat you up!
Senior Engineer: What are you going to do, beat my chin up with your nuts?
117 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fat French Kid
If You Suggest the Concept Of “Sombrero Fridays” One More Time
Manager: One of these days, I’m gonna stuff you with candy… I’m gonna hang you by your toes and beat you like a piñata.
Washington, DC
That’s Why You Don’t Schedule These Things in the Afternoon
Producer: Sorry I couldn’t make your screening, but as you heard I was
drunk and asleep even by the time your call came around.
12 West 27th Street
New York, NY
These Aren’t Sufficiently LensCrafty
Woman wearing glasses straining to read document: Ugh! I need glasses.
San Diego, California
Undetectable, They Cling to the Envelope
35-year-old man at post office: I’d like to buy some stamps, please.
Postal employee: Here you go. (hands him generic stamps)
35-year-old man: Do you have any stamps that are a bit… cooler?
Postal employee: What did you have in mind?
35-year-old man: I don’t know… Ninjas?
Post Office
California
Overheard by: Jamie
Aren’t You Worried about Flooding?
Job interviewer: So, when exactly are you moving here?
Job interviewee: As soon as we find a place to live. We’re looking for an apartment or a condom.
602 West University Avenue
Urbana, Illinois
We Really Need a Sneeze Guard
Worker bee: Sorry, I got my lesbian juices all over it.
200 West 7th Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Phone Slave
I’m a Harvard MBA, for Christ’s Sake
General manager: I’ve got a small favor to ask you…
Sales guy: I am not getting in a chicken suit and dancing on the roof again!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Stayin’ until 5…
You People Deserved the Bush Administration
Liberal cube dweller #1: I have so much to celebrate next week. My sister’s birthday and the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Liberal cube dweller #2: You celebrate that?
Liberal cube dweller #1: Yes, I absolutely do.
Liberal cube dweller #2: What kind of cake do you get?
Liberal cube dweller #1: A fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I have seen the fetus cookies, but I have never seen a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #1: I’m kidding. Not about celebrating Roe v. Wade, but about having a fetus cake.
Liberal cube dweller #2: I’d eat a fetus cake.
Albany, New York
Overheard by: We are NOT Reception
