Hero­in Chic Fi­nal­ly Ar­rives in Utah

“well, I ac­tu­al­ly like to stick things in­to my body.” said by team man­ag­er when some­one ex­pressed dis­dain about get­ting a flu shot.

2835 Deck­er Lake Dri­ve, Salt Lake City

I Hear They Get Great Ben­e­fits

Woman in suit: I’m do­ing pros­ti­tu­tion now.

441 4th Street NW
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: David

9AM Back to Work

Sec­re­tary: Don’t mail your boogers to peo­ple!

401 Church Street
Nashville, Ten­nessee

Thanks, Adder­all!

Cowork­er to boss: What were we talk­ing about? Oh yeah, mul­ti­task­ing!

Hous­ton, Texas

You Should Read My Blog

Male man­ag­er: You can’t imag­ine all the dif­fer­ent things I’ve had in my mouth over the last 40 years.

Lo­gan Air­port
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: That’s what she said

But Count Me In!

IT guy #1: It se­ri­ous­ly sound­ed like some­one was drown­ing a midget [makes high-pitched gar­gling nois­es].
IT guy #2, just walk­ing in from hall: Whoa, that’s not a con­ver­sa­tion I’m nor­mal­ly apart of.

Rich­mond, Vir­ginia

Prob­a­bly Best to Let Your Boss Win the Frit­ter Con­test

Of­fice girl: Ha-ha! Mine’s big­ger than yours! I win!
Male boss: You wish it was big­ger. Noth­ing can beat this.

Dal­ton, Geor­gia

But You Can Say “Sa­tan Plant­ed the Di­nosaur Bones”?

Front of­fice la­dy #1: “Abra­ham be­got Isaac.” What does that mean?
Front of­fice la­dy #2: It means Abra­ham is Isaac’s fa­ther ‑he had Isaac. It’s like “Adam knew Eve.” That means Adam banged her.
Front of­fice la­dy #1: I don’t think you can say that.

Med­ical Of­fice
Lin­coln, Ne­bras­ka

Screen­play by David Mamet

Em­ploy­ee #1: Sor­ry, I talk to my­self a lot. Let me know if it gets an­noy­ing.
Em­ploy­ee #2: That’s okay! We all have an­noy­ing habits. I just can’t stop fuck­ing swear­ing!

Aus­tralia

I Was Cold, but Now I Want On­ly to Hit You

Work­er #1: Is any­one else in here cold?
Work­er #2: Well I’m not warm…If that’s what you mean.

Ren­ton, Wash­ing­ton