Archive for July, 2016

And Ap­par­ent­ly There’s Al­so This Oth­er Thing? Called Panties?

Girl: Omigosh, I learned some­thing to­day. Did you know that bras have an ad­justable strap? Well, the one I’m wear­ing to­day was al­ways loose and show­ing my boo­bies a lit­tle, but then I ad­just­ed the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet high­er in the air, and they are ful­ly cov­ered.

Ca­reer Cen­ter
Win­ston-Salem, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: azn

2PM Long-term Plan­ning

Em­ploy­ee #1: I just don’t un­der­stand the point of Mar­tin Luther King Day.
Emoloy­ee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It cel­e­brates when Mar­tin Luther King freed the slaves.
Em­ploy­ee #1: That was Abra­ham Lin­coln.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Oh. Well, it cel­e­brates when Mar­tin Luther King gave the Eman­ci­pa­tion Procla­ma­tion.
Em­ploy­ee #1: That was al­so Abra­ham Lin­coln.
Em­ploy­ee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at his­to­ry.

821 Ben­v­enue
Rocky Mount, North Car­oli­na

Damn Those Nin­ja Shoes

Sales as­sis­tant #1: Man, I hate Glen* — be­comes a man­ag­er and gets all crazy.
Sales as­sis­tant #2: What’s he makin’ you do?
Sales as­sis­tant #1: Sweep the whole ser­vice al­ley! Man, some­times I just wan­na hit that guy. I’ve been here two years, and he makes me, the head sales as­sis­tant, do the crap work.
Sales as­sis­tant #2: [Stares.]Sales as­sis­tant #1: He’s right be­hind me, is­n’t he?
Sales as­sis­tant #2: Yup.

3709 East Cen­tral Texas Ex­press­way
Killeen, Texas

Or Be Safe­ly Dead

Work­er #1: Guys! I just heard! By 2050 there’s gonna be nine­ty bil­lion hu­mans. I hope we can feed every­one!
Work­er #2: Uh, I think that es­ti­mate is a bit high.
Work­er #1: No! They said it on the ra­dio, so it’s true. Maybe we can col­o­nize Mars by then, or some­thing…

Ur­bana, Illi­nois