Archive for July, 2016

And Apparently There’s Also This Other Thing? Called Panties?

Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.

Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Overheard by: azn

2PM Long-term Planning

Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history.

821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina

Damn Those Ninja Shoes

Sales assistant #1: Man, I hate Glen* — becomes a manager and gets all crazy.
Sales assistant #2: What’s he makin’ you do?
Sales assistant #1: Sweep the whole service alley! Man, sometimes I just wanna hit that guy. I’ve been here two years, and he makes me, the head sales assistant, do the crap work.
Sales assistant #2: [Stares.]Sales assistant #1: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
Sales assistant #2: Yup.

3709 East Central Texas Expressway
Killeen, Texas

Or Be Safely Dead

Worker #1: Guys! I just heard! By 2050 there’s gonna be ninety billion humans. I hope we can feed everyone!
Worker #2: Uh, I think that estimate is a bit high.
Worker #1: No! They said it on the radio, so it’s true. Maybe we can colonize Mars by then, or something…

University
Urbana, Illinois


You Deserved That Look, Sweetie

Queer admin guy #1: They made another round of changes, so I had to go out and get more binders. Those thick ones are really expensive, too.
Queer admin guy #2: What were they, four inches?
Queer admin guy #1: I got the three-inch ones, I think.
Straight admin girl: But is three inches enough? Do you think?
Queer admin guy #2: (gives her a look)
Straight admin girl: No! No no no no no!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Scooter