Guy: "south america is like a cleaner, richer, nicer version of india"
Indian coworker: …
Sunshine Suites NoHo
Archive for July, 2016
And Apparently There’s Also This Other Thing? Called Panties?
Girl: Omigosh, I learned something today. Did you know that bras have an adjustable strap? Well, the one I’m wearing today was always loose and showing my boobies a little, but then I adjusted the strap, and whoa, let me tell ya, my boobs are like five feet higher in the air, and they are fully covered.
Career Center
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Overheard by: azn
…While I Raid Your Sampler Case?
Patient who just failed drug test: I need a note to stay out of work.
Doctor: What do you want me to say? That you're too stoned from taking too many Vicodin to be productive?
Patient: Sure, but would you mind wording it better?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Amazed Nurse
2PM Long-term Planning
Employee #1: I just don’t understand the point of Martin Luther King Day.
Emoloyee #2: Come on! It’s a big day! It celebrates when Martin Luther King freed the slaves.
Employee #1: That was Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. Well, it celebrates when Martin Luther King gave the Emancipation Proclamation.
Employee #1: That was also Abraham Lincoln.
Employee #2: Oh. I’m not very good at history.
821 Benvenue
Rocky Mount, North Carolina
…Didn't HR Talk to You About That?
(worker #1 opens can of Monster energy drink)
Worker #2: Wow, I can smell your monster from over here.
Knob Noster, Missouri
Overheard by: Jason
Damn Those Ninja Shoes
Sales assistant #1: Man, I hate Glen* — becomes a manager and gets all crazy.
Sales assistant #2: What’s he makin’ you do?
Sales assistant #1: Sweep the whole service alley! Man, sometimes I just wanna hit that guy. I’ve been here two years, and he makes me, the head sales assistant, do the crap work.
Sales assistant #2: [Stares.]Sales assistant #1: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
Sales assistant #2: Yup.
3709 East Central Texas Expressway
Killeen, Texas
We Can't Just Abolish the Chain of Command
VP in theological discussion: Hitler copied the Catholic Church, for Christ's sake!
Bank Street, Ottawa
Canadia
Overheard by: without
Jeez, I Already Know How to Pass Out at Parties
Slutty waitress: My baby daughter is driving me insane!
Waiter: That'll teach you to pass out at parties.
(slutty waitress glares, storms off)
Waiter, shrugging: Well, it should.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Or Be Safely Dead
Worker #1: Guys! I just heard! By 2050 there's gonna be ninety billion humans. I hope we can feed everyone!
Worker #2: Uh, I think that estimate is a bit high.
Worker #1: No! They said it on the radio, so it's true. Maybe we can colonize Mars by then, or something…
University
Urbana, Illinois
Isn't That, Like, a Tittie Club?
Employee #1: I am trying to find Egypt on the map.
Employee #2: Me too, I thought it was in Cairo.
Manager: Come on, guys, it is not in Cairo, it is part of the Gaza strip!
Las Vegas Office building