Archive for June, 2016

So It’s Not All Bad

La­dy pe­on #1: If we keep work­ing at this rate we are A — go­ing to get sick, B — go­ing to be tired, and C — go­ing to hate each oth­er!
La­dy pe­on #2: … You for­got D — di­vorced.

Tal­la­has­see, Flori­da

How In­ter­na­tion­al In­ci­dents Be­gin

Main­te­nance guy #1 on cell: Hel­lo? Uh-huh… Uh-huh… Si. Sure, okay [hangs up].
Main­te­nance guy #2: Who was that?
Main­te­nance guy #1: I don’t know — some Mex­i­can dude. He was talk­ing Span­ish and I just agreed with him. I think it was a wrong num­ber.

7160 River­wood Dri­ve
Co­lum­bia, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Bored Re­cep­tion­ist

En­gi­neers Are No­to­ri­ous­ly Hedge­hogero­nor­ma­tive

En­gi­neer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
En­gi­neer #2: Noth­ing, leave me alone!
Boss to en­gi­neer #2: Don’t you show­er? You look like a bush hog.
En­gi­neer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
En­gi­neer #2: Of course I show­ered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
En­gi­neer #3: A ho­mo­sex­u­al hedge­hog.
En­gi­neer #2: Does my hair re­al­ly look that bad?

Coolidge, Ari­zona

Who Was That, by the Way?

Suit #1: Good morn­ing, pal!
Suit #2: I’m not your pal…
Suit #1: Well, sure you are, bud­dy!
Suit #2: Look, my day would be far less painful if you’d stop re­fer­ring to me us­ing syn­onyms of “friend.” M’kay?
Suit #1: Sure thing, friend!
(Suit #2 storms out)
Suit #3: That’s a new record…fifteen sec­onds!


You Say That Every Day.

As­sis­tant: Did you know that dogs get breast can­cer?
Su­per­vi­sor: What?
As­sis­tant: I used to work at a vet of­fice, and they would bring in dogs with breast can­cer!
Su­per­vi­sor, af­ter googling it: Yeah, I guess they do!
As­sis­tant: Oh, re­al­ly?! I made that up!
Su­per­vi­sor: I’m done with you.

New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Dig­it­dy