Female legislator: I love professional ball players. They, uh… tackle well.
20 Legislative Plaza
Nashville, Tennessee
Archive for May, 2016
So I Did
Dollar store sales clerk to another: Did you hear that customer? She tried to return panties, I told her she couldn't, so she said “you can smell them if you want”!
Lawrence, Massachusetts
…Because I've Been Dying to Try Out This New Taser!
Older salesman to younger engineering draftsman having a meltdown: Are you potentially going to go postal on us?
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Stefanie
Though He Has Been Tallying the Days in Crayon on His Crib Wall
Worker #1: How’s everything with the baby?
Worker #2: He seems to be pleased with his accommodations. At least he hasn’t complained verbally.
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
This Is My Concerned Face.
Lady suit: Well, if she is suicidal, she shouldn’t be traveling alone…
Male suit, staring into distance: Mmm-hmmm.
Lady suit: … Or drinking alone…
Male suit, staring into distance: Mmm-hmmm.
Penn Station
New York, New York
Overheard by: passerby
Have you tried a ladder?
Male receptionist: I've been trying to get this pen in the ceiling for so long, but I just can't.
Manhattan, New York
MacGyver Used the Resulting Explosion to Escape to a Better Job
Coworker: I need a glass of tonic water, a screwdriver, and a hanger.
Elmira, New York
The Feral Employee Works for Low Wages, but May Need to Be Housebroken
Student worker #1: Seriously, why?
Student worker #2: Because I was too lazy to go to the bathroom.
Student worker #1: Were you that drunk again?
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Overheard by: I Hate Student Help
You Knew They'd Come Up with Something Else Now That Waterboarding's Fallen Out Of Favor
Senior engineer: And just when everybody is about to explode…bam! Ice cream!
Albany, New York
Very Nerdy Gay Porno? Discuss.
Gay IT guy: Man, it's hot in here.
Coworker: Yeah, especially since you walked in, but we have the heater on.
Appleton City, Missouri