Female legislator: I love professional ball players. They, uh… tackle well.
20 Legislative Plaza
Nashville, Tennessee
Archive for May, 2016
So I Did
Dollar store sales clerk to another: Did you hear that customer? She tried to return panties, I told her she couldn’t, so she said “you can smell them if you want”!
Lawrence, Massachusetts
…Because I’ve Been Dying to Try Out This New Taser!
Older salesman to younger engineering draftsman having a meltdown: Are you potentially going to go postal on us?
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Stefanie
This Is My Concerned Face.
Lady suit: Well, if she is suicidal, she shouldn’t be traveling alone…
Male suit, staring into distance: Mmm-hmmm.
Lady suit: … Or drinking alone…
Male suit, staring into distance: Mmm-hmmm.
Penn Station
New York, New York
Overheard by: passerby
Have you tried a ladder?
Male receptionist: I’ve been trying to get this pen in the ceiling for so long, but I just can’t.
Manhattan, New York
MacGyver Used the Resulting Explosion to Escape to a Better Job
Coworker: I need a glass of tonic water, a screwdriver, and a hanger.
Elmira, New York
You Knew They’d Come Up with Something Else Now That Waterboarding’s Fallen Out Of Favor
Senior engineer: And just when everybody is about to explode…bam! Ice cream!
Albany, New York
Have You Tried to Copper Feel?
Handyman: Can you see the pipe?
Owner of record store, with head in ceiling: Yeah, I think it’s rusted though.
Handyman, under breath: Your mom’s pipes are rusted through.
Newark, Delaware
Lemme Guess: CFO?
Coworker: Somebody’s getting arrested today, and it isn’t going to be me!
1218 Webster St.,
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Stacy Lewis
11AM Coffee Break
Woman #1: So we went shopping this weekend and I found the perfect dress but the chest part was too small.
Woman #2: You would think with boob jobs being so popular that they would just make tops bigger.
Woman #1: Yeah, just like SUVs.
2800 28th Street
Santa Monica, California
