Ac­tu­al­ly, They’re Nava­jos / Zu­nis / Cherokees/ Etc.

Di­ver­si­ty com­mit­tee meet­ing leader: What’s the make­up of the Long Is­land of­fice?
Voice on speak­er­phone: Two Jew­ish, one black, and two Amer­i­can.
Meet­ing at­tendee: I think she means WASP.

350 Broad­way
New York, New York

A Move Known As “The IT Side­step”

Temp: We found some old mice in the trash­can. I don’t re­al­ly think they be­long in there.
Tech guy: I think that’s a prob­lem for fa­cil­i­ties. Are they dead or alive?

Maryville, Ten­nessee

Over­heard by: Cin­derel­la

Good Thing He Hired That Guy to Ex­press Emo­tions for Him

At­tor­ney #1: Where’s Stew*?
At­tor­ney #2: Get­ting Botoxed.
At­tor­ney #1: Oh, god, not again.

1202 Ket­tner Boule­vard
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

I Place the Blame Square­ly on Tele­vi­sion

Work­er bee to an­oth­er: Did you hear our chil­dren are go­ing to be the first gen­er­a­tion to be stu­pid­er than their par­ents?

Phar­ma­ceu­ti­cal com­pa­ny
New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: In­tern

Soup Can Be Very Sen­su­al.

Cowork­er #1: Was it as good as it was last night?
Cowork­er #2: Mmm-hm­mm!

Chica­go, Illi­nois

10AM Go Over Re­sumes

Re­cruiter: So, what do you think of her qual­i­fi­ca­tions?
Man­ag­er: Well, her ex­pe­ri­ence looks great. I’m just not sure what a de­gree in Eng­lish has to do with writ­ing?

Naval Air Sta­tion North Is­land
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Tere­sa Min­nich

5PM That’s a Wrap

Boss: Wow! This ad­he­sive is re­al­ly on there!
Work­er: Yes, ad­he­sive does that.
Boss: No, but it’s re­al­ly, re­al­ly stuck on. It’s just like…glue, yeah. Just like glue.
Work­er: Ad­he­sive is glue.
Boss: …It is just like glue.

855 Capi­to­lio Way
San Luis Obis­po, Cal­i­for­nia

I Won­dered Why They’d Told Me to Use the Back Door

Cast­ing as­sis­tant: I knew it was al­ready dirty, but I was half way in and it was too late to turn back.

336 West 17th Street
New York, New York

Over­heard by: cu­bi­cle neigh­boor

The Crew of Sesame Street Had an Un­usu­al Rep­ri­mand Sys­tem

Of­fice drone: I’ll have to tick­le my­self for that…

Ojai, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: In­tel­lec­tu­al­Whore

Well, an IV, Some Sort of Mod­i­fied Rec­i­p­ro­cal Saw, a Rub­ber Hand, and a Lot of Lo­tion Ought to Do the Trick

Gen­er­al man­ag­er: Lis­ten, if you guys can find a way for me to whack off an­oth­er six months, that would be great.

12112 115th Av­enue NE
Kirk­land, Wash­ing­ton