Archive for January, 2016

Could and Have

New chef: I gotta take a dump.
Waiter: There’s no toilet seat in the employee bathroom.
New chef: Dude, I just got out of jail after five years. I could shit in a pickle bucket in the middle of our dining room and it wouldn’t bother me.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

12PM Lunch

Cubicle girl: [Brad], want anything from Taco Bell? I’m making a run.

[Brad]: Yeah, I’ll go with you. But let me give you my order first.

Cubicle girl: But you’re coming with me.

[Brad]: I don’t want to forget what I want. So I want the spicy chicken, spicy, make sure it’s spicy…

250 Park Avenue
New York, New York

What the Fire Said

Guy over PA system: May I have your attention please. There has been a fire reported in the building.
Co-Worker: Well, that’s just an excuse to go smoke.

East 13th Street
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: blocking the exit