Archive for 2015

I Had An…uh…Lobotomy, Redux

In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.

At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.

In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.

[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]

522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Breanna Freeman

Yes! Another Big Win for Strategic Incompetence!

Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?
Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that overseas?
Sales manager: It's in the Middle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It's international.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.
Sales manager: I'll just do it myself.

Louisville, Kentucky