Archive for 2015

1PM Long Term Plan­ning

Sub­or­di­nate #1, mid­dle-aged: So, how’s your bro­ken toe do­ing, [Sara]?

VP [Sara]: It still hurts, but af­ter four tries, I fi­nal­ly found a pair of high heels I can stand in.

Sub­or­di­nate #1: Should you be do­ing that yet?

VP: I have a date tonight and need to look cute.

Sub­or­di­nate 2, old­er: You should­n’t be wear­ing heels yet. You’re go­ing to ru­in your feet so that when you’re old like me you’ll be able to wear on­ly ug­ly shoes.

VP: I’ll be mar­ried by then, so it won’t mat­ter!

208 South LaSalle
Chica­go, Illi­nois

See, I Had 99 Prob­lems…

IT guy: I’m not sure how we can fig­ure out what hap­pened.
IT man­ag­er: Well, I guess the on­ly thing you can do is grab the batch.
IT sec­re­tary, eaves­drop­ping: I think I got in trou­ble for that in high school.
IT man­ag­er: For what?
IT sec­re­tary: For grab­bing a batch.

Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: i’m sure she did