Archive for 2015

Then Why Do You Keep Fid­dling Around in There?

Big boss, telling off pe­on: You need to look around for work your­self when you’re done and the su­per­vi­sors are busy.
Male man­ag­er: Look on desks, in draw­ers.
Big boss: You might not be com­fort­able with go­ing through oth­ers’ draw­ers, but…
Fe­male man­ag­er: You can go through my draw­ers any time.
Pe­on: That ter­ri­fies me.

Hind­marsh
Ade­laide
Aus­tralia

You Too, Mrs. Parks

Bus dri­ver, over in­ter­com, on a crowd­ed bus about to let on more pas­sen­gers: All standees please drop your back­packs to your feet and move to the back of the bus.
(no one moves)
Bus dri­ver: This is the voice of God. Thou shalt drop your bags to your feet and move to the back of the bus.

Davis, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Na­tal­ie T.

…Just Ask Our Pres­i­dent.

Caller: I am call­ing about a claim that was de­nied last week.
In­sur­ance cus­tomer ser­vice: Which claim is that, ma’am?
Caller: The one from my doc­tor’s vis­it while we were in Hawaii.
In­sur­ance cus­tomer ser­vice: Well, ma’am, your pol­i­cy does­n’t cov­er in­ter­na­tion­al med­ical claims–so your doc­tor’s vis­it in Hawaii would­n’t be cov­ered.

Den­ver, Col­orado

Sure, She Meets Lots of New Peo­ple, but She Does­n’t Get Their Names

De­vel­op­ment man­ag­er: … So then I told my wife that even if we raised our grand­daugh­ter she could still end up like her moth­er. I mean, she does­n’t have tat­toos, but she does drugs and she’s a tramp.
IT an­a­lyst: Don’t call your daugh­ter a tramp, that’s not nice!
De­vel­op­ment man­ag­er: Why not? She sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Har­ry!
IT an­a­lyst: At least she has a so­cial life.

1600 South 900 West
Salt Lake City, Utah

Over­heard by: Jeal­ous