Attorney: Maybe we’ll get lucky and there’ll be a murder.
County courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Archive for 2015
If You Unfocus Your Eyes Just Right, You Can See One of Those ‘Magic’ Pictures
Worker: Bob’s balls are hanging out of his shorts.
Manager: Yeah, he’s got real hangers.
Worker: You should tell him.
Manager: I like it. No one else can see it, and it’s his lunch break. Besides, you’ve been looking at his scrotum for the last ten minutes.
Balboa Park
San Diego, California
Overheard by: fellow worker sitting nearby
Wouldn’t You Also Need a Harness?
Older office lady to another: Oh, that’s right, because they couldn’t get the shaft to fit my hole…but if you got me the right cable, and put a little tension on it…yeah, I could probably do it upright.
Marquette Ave
Minneapolis, Minnesota
And I Have Seen Enough
Guy: Wow! Look at the legs on that chick! Those are some really short shorts! Look, Bill*!
Bill: Yeah, that’s my wife.
740 Fourth Street
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Sandie
5PM That’s a Wrap
Customer #1: Does the Peaks Island Ferry go to Peaks Island?
Ticket agent: Yes.
Customer#1: Does it come back?
Customer #2: No, it’s the barge to Hades. It only goes one way.
Casco Bay Lines Ferry Terminal
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Jeff Jenks
10AM Arrange Car for Mr. Wonder
Publicist: It was amazing. Stevie could do everything. He could leave his apartment, go to the elevator, everything.
Proofer: Wow. He didn’t even need a cane?
Publicist: Of course not; he’s not that old.
1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California
He Still Doesn’t Do It as Homosexually As Possible, Though
Case worker: My husband was laying around like a little faggot last night.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Spazzy
1PM Lunch
Co-worker #1: I think the pills of my dreams would allow me to eat whatever I wanted and never get above a size 4.
Co-worker #2: Those already exist. They’re called laxatives.
147 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jess
…Like That Cirque Du Soleil Performer Over There.
Boss: You’ve gotta stay on your balls.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: tim
If You Want the Job, Then You’ll Kill This Puppy, and You’ll Do It Right Now
Coworker #1: He can’t do it, he says he can’t punch it out that quick.
Coworker #2: You tell that asshole if I’ll come down there and kick his ass, this is ridiculous! (pause) What’s his number? I’ll give him something to cry about!
Alexandria, Virginia
