Archive for 2015

It’s a Bet­ter In­vest­ment for the Com­pa­ny Than Ma­ter­ni­ty Leave

Stu­dent: Is Sarah* out sick to­day?
Boss: No, she had to run some er­rands, she will be in short­ly.
Work­er: I knew it, she had to get the morn­ing af­ter pill!
(every­one laughs)
Boss to work­er: Yeah, be­cause you’re so stingy with yours!

Carnegie Mel­lon Uni­ver­si­ty
Pitts­burgh, Penn­syl­va­nia

A Feat I’ve Been At­tempt­ing for Years

Em­ploy­ee: So, I know that we don’t nor­mal­ly do this, but my fa­ther in law is sick and I need to telecom­mute from here. Is that okay?
Boss on speak­er phone: Well, I guess telecom­mut­ing is ac­cept­able for this week, but try not to let the sit­u­a­tion go on much longer.
Em­ploy­ee to hus­band af­ter, hang­ing up the phone: I think he just told me to kill your fa­ther.

Hous­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: I don’t know that I have that kind of pow­er!