Archive for 2015

Though, to Be Fair, You’re Not Even an Em­ploy­ee Here.

Male cowork­er: It’s one o’­clock al­ready? Man, this day is fly­ing by so fast!
Fe­male cowork­er: It’s drag­ging for me.
Male cowork­er: Last time I looked at the clock it was on­ly 11 am. Man, where did the time go?
Fe­male cowork­er: That’s be­cause you’re old and you keep falling asleep and wak­ing up an hour lat­er!

Al­bu­querque, New Mex­i­co

Over­heard by: Janet

…Come by the Of­fice Lat­er and I’ll Give You a Check.

Fe­male ex­ec­u­tive VP on phone son: I’m not giv­ing you mon­ey to­day. I’m not giv­ing it to you. I’m not giv­ing it to you. I’m not giv­ing it to you. (pause) Michael, did you hear what I just said? I’m not giv­ing you any mon­ey to­day. I’m. Not. Giv­ing. You. Any. Mon­ey. To­day. (pause) I’m sor­ry. I’m sor­ry. I said I’m sor­ry. (pause) Yes, I’m se­ri­ous. I gave you $50 yes­ter­day and I said it had to last you un­til Fri­day. You’re 21. You’re 21. Get a job. (pause) I’m not giv­ing you mon­ey to­day. Okay, bye. (pause) I love you too.

Mont­clair, New Jer­sey