Archive for 2015

3PM Smoke Break

PhD #1: So we need to find ba­bies who’s moth­ers smoked dur­ing their preg­nan­cies.
PhD #2: What would be great is if we could find some preg­nant women who smoke and mon­i­tor the fe­tus be­fore, and a while af­ter birth. But that’s kin­da il­le­gal and un­eth­i­cal.
PhD #1: Yeah, we can’t re­al­ly en­cour­age women to con­tin­ue smok­ing while they’re preg­nant.

30 South 2000 East
Salt Lake City, Utah

Over­heard by: whit­ney

I Did­n’t Say You’d Con­tributed Much

Cube rat girl: You’ve re­al­ly con­tributed to my progress as a hu­man be­ing. Like, I’ve learned all these new terms from you. Like ‘owned,’ and ‘oh, word?’ And ‘meh’!
Cube rat guy: See? So what would your life be like with­out me?
Cube rat girl: Well, I think pret­ty much the same, but with a few less words.

350 Madi­son Av­enue
New York, New York

Hey, That Ex­cuse Got Me Ex­tra Time on My SATs!

Parts store clerk #1 to parts store clerk #2: I don’t know about tak­ing this test. These words they use, I don’t know where they get these words from. Maybe it’s just me, cause I’m from the South.
Cus­tomer, chuck­ling: Them can’t be re­al words, can they?
Parts clerk #1: No.
Parts clerk #2: You’re just way too coun­try to take that test.

De­catur, Ten­nessee