Archive for 2015

Well That’ll Get Me Nowhere

Se­nior work­er: Here, put this old in­for­ma­tion in­to the new data­base so we can clear out the clut­ter in the back room.
Ju­nior work­er: This is a flop­py disk.
Se­nior work­er: So?
Ju­nior work­er: So who has a flop­py dri­ve any­more?!
Se­nior work­er: I’m sure some­one here has a flop­py dri­ve. Just ask around.
(five min­utes lat­er)
Ju­nior work­er, shout­ing across of­fice: Jack­’s got a place you can stick your flop­py!

Mis­sis­sauga
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: uncomfortable.com

And What Is Your Plan for Keep­ing It from Them?

An­a­lyst: I can give you the num­bers in those di­vi­sions, but you can’t go pub­lic with it.
Mar­ket­ing man­ag­er: I’m not go­ing to go pub­lic with it, just present it at a meet­ing.
An­a­lyst: Who’s go­ing to be at the meet­ing?
Mar­ket­ing man­ag­er: It’s a stake­hold­er meet­ing. So, who­ev­er wants to, you know. It’s open to the pub­lic.

16340 North Scotts­dale Road
Scotts­dale, Ari­zona

I’m Sick and Tired Of Hear­ing About Bush

Fe­male cowork­er #1: I re­al­ly need to cut back on my caf­feine.
Fe­male cowork­er #2: Yeah, me too.
Fe­male cowork­er #1: No, I re­al­ly need to stop. When­ev­er I go out with my run­ning group, I al­ways need to pull over and shit in the bush­es. Y’­know, be­cause of the caf­feine.
Fe­male cowork­er #2: (tries un­suc­cess­ful­ly to hide dis­gust)
Fe­male cowork­er #1: What? It’s to­tal­ly nat­ur­al.
Male cowork­er: Why can’t there be more men in this de­part­ment?

New York City, New York

Over­heard by: Had to stop eat­ing my lunch

Hon­esty and Par­ent­ing Are Mu­tu­al­ly Ex­clu­sive

Mom to lit­tle kid: I told you not to go in the road.
Dad: Yeah, you get hit by a car, you gon’ be in there with ma­ma on a bed. [Kid stares.] You get hit by a car, you gon’ have to get X‑rays. You want X‑rays? X‑rays hurt.

Doc­tor’s of­fice, 35th Street and Red­wood Road
Salt Lake City, Utah

Over­heard by: JChan