Archive for 2015

3PM Cof­fee Break

Em­ploy­ee: “Iso­late”? Why’s there an E on the end?
Su­per­vi­sor: …
Em­ploy­ee: Oh. Just kid­ding!
Su­per­vi­sor: Se­ri­ous­ly?
Em­ploy­ee: It looked weird.
Su­per­vi­sor: So when you go to the cof­fee shop, do you or­der a “late”?
Em­ploy­ee: No, I or­der a latt. Two Ts.

500 Du­lany Street
Alexan­dria, Vir­ginia

How Fun­ny That Is De­pends on Your Role in the Le­gal Sys­tem

Re­cep­tion­ist: God, I love to­day.
Su­per­vi­sor: You know, I hate it when you get laid.
Re­cep­tion­ist, blush­ing: Yeah, I know…
Gen­er­al man­ag­er: You’re just say­ing that be­cause your wife won’t put out.
Su­per­vi­sor: That’s not re­al­ly fun­ny.
Gen­er­al man­ag­er: Yeah, it is… If we were lucky, Tam­my here would hire out, then every­one could get laid.

Roswell, New Mex­i­co

Over­heard by: Yikes!

As Were the Peo­ple Who In­vent­ed Those Naked Fla­vors, Co­in­ci­den­tal­ly.

Star­bucks barista: You know why they are called “naked juices”?
20-some­thing: Ex­cuse me?
Star­bucks barista: They sprin­kle just a lit­tle bit of E in them… Next thing you know you’re feel­ing up on your­self, then next thing you know you’re naked.
20-some­thing: Uh­hh…
Star­bucks barista: I’m high as balls right now, man.

Man­hat­tan, New York

Over­heard by: Col­lege Stu­dent

I’m Nev­er Rent­ing to Pigs Again

Re­al es­tate agent on phone to ven­dor: “we can put the prop­er­ty up for sale now. It does­n’t smell any­more.”

Syd­ney, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Ani­ta Hol­i­day