Archive for 2015

Wait, Did I Say That Out Loud?

Cus­tomer: Here’s my or­der num­ber.
CSR: Yes, how can I help you?
Cus­tomer: What can you tell me about my or­der?
CSR: Um. What would you like to know?
Cus­tomer: You tell me. What does your com­put­er tell you?
CSR: It tells me lots of things. What you or­dered, when you or­dered it. How can I help you?
Cus­tomer: Tell me every­thing your screen tells you about my or­der.
CSR: What would you like to know?
Cus­tomer: No, I want to know what you know about my or­der.
CSR: Well, I can tell you when it shipped, when it was de­liv­ered. Would those help?
Cus­tomer: No. What else?
CSR: Well, it would take me a re­al­ly long time to read you every­thing I have here.
Cus­tomer: Oh. Well, let me ex­plain. [Gives explanation]CSR: I see. So you just want UPS to pick up this or­der?
Cus­tomer: Are you an id­iot? That’s what I’ve been say­ing the whole time!

473 Ridge Road
Day­ton, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: of­fice pe­on can’t wait for the week­end

This Is Just Be­tween Us Gals, Right?

Male vp: When I come back, I want to be a woman… But a les­bian woman. That or a bug so I can get squished fast. I’d want to be a les­bian woman, cause guys are gross.
Cube dweller: …

400 6th, Port­land, OR