Archive for 2015

‘Cause Home Is Where the Pan­creas Is

Drug rep: All the reg­u­la­tions in this in­dus­try just keep get­ting more strict all the time. I set up a meet­ing the oth­er day with one of our med­ical reps and a doc­tor I know and I could­n’t say a word the en­tire time ex­cept to in­tro­duce them. I was like a mouse on the floor.
Ad­min (laugh­ing hys­ter­i­cal­ly): Do you mean “a fly on the wall”?
Drug rep (em­bar­rassed): Give me a break. It’s Fri­day morn­ing and I’m wear­ing a suit for a meet­ing that was can­celed and no­body told me. I’m go­ing home!

Ar­ling­ton, Texas

Over­heard by: Genyis

You Should Have Had a Few Spares

Ad­min­is­tra­tor on phone: Yeah, my cat passed away last Sun­day. I put him in a pa­per bag and put it out on the curb for… for trash pick-up… What else could I do? Can’t put him in the back yard. Yeah, I got­ta get a new place. I can’t stand the mice any­more.

De­part­ment of Ed­u­ca­tion, 65 Court Street
Brook­lyn, New York

Over­heard by: Em­ma

5PM That’s a Wrap

Cowork­er #1: She was such a bitch to me for no rea­son! I think I’m be­gin­ning to hate peo­ple.
Cowork­er #2: You used to like peo­ple be­fore work­ing here? That’s so freakin’ cute!

430 W Vine Street
Lex­ing­ton, Ken­tucky

Over­heard by: I Heart Con­de­scen­sion

Wher­ev­er Al­ice Goes, Prairie Dog­ging Hap­pens

Fe­male moth­er­ly cowork­er who needs her back cracked: Will it hurt?
Young, hot, male cowork­er: It might. I usu­al­ly do it from be­hind. I will kind of hug you while I do it quick.
Fe­male moth­er­ly cowork­er: I don’t know if I will like that. I don’t want it to hurt me. Why don’t you do it from the front?
Young, hot, male cowork­er: Okay, turn around.
Fe­male moth­er­ly cowork­er: Ah, that’s it! Right there. Oh, I need­ed that for such a long time…

Mountville, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Wow