Archive for 2015

I Was That Way with Sis­ter Act II: Back in the Habit

New­ly hired girl, learn­ing com­put­er sys­tem: *gasp* Oh my god, I just fig­ured out why Chevron gas sta­tions are called Chevron!
(se­nior girl rolls eyes)
New­ly hired girl, a minute lat­er: *gasp!*
Se­nior girl: What? Did you just fig­ure out what Shell gas sta­tions are named af­ter?


Over­heard by: why did we hire her again?

He Keeps That To­tal­ly on the DL

Cowork­er #1: I was be­rat­ed by Su­san* yes­ter­day be­cause I asked for my light fix­ture to be fixed… again… af­ter 13 days. She got an­gry be­cause she ‘has more im­por­tant things to wor­ry about.’ Ap­par­ent­ly, her hus­band’s in the ICU.
Cowork­er #2: Dude, she’s go­ing to have to un­plug him.
Cowork­er #1: I un­der­stand that, but I re­sent the ac­cu­sa­tion that some­how my ask­ing for my light to be fixed be­trays an in­sen­si­tiv­i­ty to the plight of her al­most-dead hus­band.

Austin, Texas

Af­ter His Con­science Was Re­moved, Os­wald Some­times Ex­pe­ri­enced Dis­com­fort in the Area Where It Had Been

Em­ploy­ee #1: So the guy in jail I was telling you about, he’s dead! [Laughs]Employee #2: Ooh, that’s great for you then, right?
Em­ploy­ee #1: No, it was the wrong guy. There were two guys sit­ting in jail, and one of them died, but it was the wrong one.
Em­ploy­ee #2: So you owe your friend mon­ey?
Em­ploy­ee #1: Well not un­til the oth­er guy dies. [pause] This is pret­ty mor­bid is­n’t it?

Sparks Street
Ot­tawa, Cana­dia

Over­heard by: a poor lit­tle in­tern