Archive for 2015

The Sound of the Chainsaw Was the Tip-Off

Coworker #1: I’m really excited about getting my hair cut tonight.
Coworker #2: What are you going to have done?
Coworker #1: I don’t know. I usually just say, ‘Surprise me.’
Coworker #2: Oh. That’s what I said last time…
Coworker #1: That was a big mistake for you, wasn’t it?

111 South 1st Avenue
Wausau, Wisconsin

Overheard by: McMathis

For Some Reason, This Scene Was Cut from Pretty Woman

Sad girl, folding t-shirts: And I totally didn't understand why he's like “we need some time apart”. Like, I really thought he was my soulmate. We were the fairytale movie couple, I really loved him… And then he's just like “you call too much. You talk too much. You should stop calling me”.
Uninterested male coworker: Uh, well, you said he paid you for what you called a “one night stand”…
Sad girl: Well, it sounds so bad when you say it like that. Yes, he paid me for that, but I don't know… I felt a connection.
Uninterested male coworker: Yeah, uh… You're a prostitute and he just wanted sex.
Sad girl: Oh, shut up, ass!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Julie

9AM Back to Work

Manager: Ok. Since it seems like [Dougie] doesn’t want to be a part of the team and show up for meetings, [Steve], from now on, when you send out meeting requests, make sure the invitation is sent to him personally.

[Steve]: So basically, I should click a few more times to enable this otherwise unacceptable behavior?

Manager: Right.

[Steve]: Got it.

214 West 39th Street
New York, New York