Archive for 2015

1PM Soliciting Feedback

Sales girl: Sooo [Alice], I hear you are having butt trauma today.
[Alice] the assistant: Yeah, I don’t know what is wrong, but it just hurts. Down in my butt crack. It just hurts.
Sales guy: Huh? What’s going on?
[Alice]: Shut up, you’ve seen it already!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

You're Just Too Young to Remember The Muppet Show

Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manaman.
Tall white guy: Do-do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, dah-do-do-do-do-do…
Short white girl: Manamana!
Black coworker: Crazy white folk… What the hell's wrong witchu two?

Newark Airport
New Jersey

If They Provided Lunch, They Wouldn’t Have to Pay Us at All

Cube dweller #1, at weekly company breakfast: Oooh, breakfast. I forgot today was breakfast day.
Cube dweller #2: They sure do know how to buy us off. They could take away our chairs and there would only be a minor grumbling, but if they took away our breakfast… Like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna be a standing agency now.’ ‘Yeah, that’s cool. Just don’t mess with my breakfast.’

233 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Cube Monkey