Archive for 2015

What Ex­act­ly Con­sti­tutes “Smear­ing”?

As­so­ciate to cus­tomer on phone about beef re­call: We are on­ly re­call­ing meat with the dates April 28th through June 6th on it.
Cus­tomer: Well, mine is dat­ed June 23rd. Can I eat it?
As­so­ciate: Yes, ma’am. That’s not in our re­call dates.
Cus­tomer: Are you sure it’s safe?
As­so­ciate: Yes ma’am. That meat was­n’t part of the re­call.
Cus­tomer: What were the dates again?
As­so­ciate: April 28th to June 6th.
Cus­tomer: So, I won’t die?
As­so­ciate: Ma’am, un­less you plan on smear­ing it on a pig and eat­ing it raw, you are go­ing to be fine.

Yarmouth, Maine

The Cat’s Al­ready Out of the Bag, So to Speak

Writer, stand­ing in door­way: You’ve got a lot of cat stuff in here now.
De­sign­er: I was think­ing that. It’s kind of creepy. Seems like I might be gay, or some kind of weirdo lon­er who talks to his cat all the time.
Writer: Well, at least it’s not say­ing things about you peo­ple don’t al­ready know.

Scotts­dale, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: Miel Du­rand