Manager in meeting: We’ll hit that bridge when we come to it.
London
England
Archive for November, 2015
And You're Getting Warmer…Warmer…No, Colder…Colder…Warmer…
Customer: Umm… Excuse me, do you have that book?
Bookstore employee: Do you know the title?
Customer: No.
Bookstore employee: Do you know the author?
Customer: Uh… No, but they wrote that other book.
Bookstore employee: Do you know where the other book is in the shop?
Customer, brightly: Yeah! It's over there somewhere! (points behind himself to the entire shop)
Darwin
Australia
Of Course, without BeingThere I Can’t Be 100 Percent Sure
Visitor: Excuse me, where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: Eh?
Visitor: Where’s your kitchen?
Engineer: My what?
Visitor: Your kitchen?
Engineer: It’s in my house…
Peterborough
United Kingdom
And Take Your Gobbets With You!
Employee #1: Oh, god! Tammy*!
Supervisor: What now?
Employee #2: I drooled on her!
Employee #1: Get out of my cube, drooler!
Sycamore, Illinois
I’m Worried about How She’ll Take the News
Nurse to patient after pregnancy test: Congratulations on your new arrival. Are you excited?
Patient: Yeah. I’m just in shock. I mean, I can’t believe my sister is going to be an aunt!
616 Court Street
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Vicky
Bloody Imprecise American English
British receptionist, over intercom: I just found a water bottle in the toilet. If it's yours please come to the front desk to get it. (a moment later) No, the water bottle was not literally in the toilet.
Manhattan, New York
Which Is What People Have Come to Expect from “Toys R' Butts”
Coworker #1: What is wrong with this web page?
Coworker #2: Nothing, it's just ass and toys.
Green Bay, Wisconsin
10AM Pay Renewal Fee
Accounting: You submitted a payment request for a renewal fee.
Peon: Yes.
Accounting: Can you find out how long the renewal term is for?
Peon: It says “annual renewal fee” on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, I saw that, but do you know when it’s valid until?
Peon: It says valid from October 31, 2005 on the invoice.
Accounting: Yeah, but can you make sure? You never know it could be for like two years or something.
3700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Peer Pressure and Piercings Can Be a Deadly Combination
Office lady #1: I need a haircut like I need a hole in the head!
Office lady #2: Me too! I'm going to get one right now!
Office lady #1: Hey, so am I!
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: i heart cubicles
Sounds Hot
Male coworker: Did you get a haircut?
Female coworker: No, I showered.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: erak