Auto claims adjuster on phone: I’m authorized to offer you $1,000 for the pain and suffering I’m about to give you.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Archive for October, 2015
Which Is Common Practice in the Bronx
Data entry thug: Your family has a practice, and the practice is to bend you over backwards and fuck you as hard as they can.
Bronx
New York City, New York
Overheard by: glad I’m not related
And While We’re on the Topic, How Come You Never Call Me at Night?
Guy on cell: I can hardly hear you. It sounds like you’re in a coffin.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: brian
Inside Her Vagina?
Employee: Bridget’s out on maternity leave again? That woman is fertile!
Boss: Yeah, I know where to come if I want to have more kids.
Bellevue, Washington
How Far in Advance Do You Think I Need to Book My Tickets?
Intern: So, why aren’t people making a big deal about the Mars Lander?
Busy office worker: I don’t know.
Intern: Do you know many people who are on board?
Indiana
…Scientists Say.
Boss on phone: In Atlanta? Shoot, you can’t swing a dead cat without hittin’ a waffle house.
Landover, Maryland
She’s Real –Just Not Really Dead
Office girl on phone: I figured I might as well not waste these tears, so I took the opportunity to tell them about my fake dead aunt.
Abington, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: alxie
… Limiting Our Lunch Breaks, Not Stealing Supplies, Wearing Shoes…
Coworker #1 holding company’s new tech use policy: It says we’re not supposed to blog on company time.
Coworker #2: Whatever. It’s not like we follow any of their other policies, like doing work and shit.
Phoenix, Arizona
Angry With Me She Is
Coworker: Yeah, doing the Yoda voice in bed the other night wasn’t received very well.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Hey, One Man’s Trash Is Another Man’s Treasure
Coworker #1: Do you want to see my diamond?
Coworker #2: That’s not a diamond — that’s your camel toe!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: i got a million of them.…
