Archive for September, 2015

Or Are Sun­glass­es Al­lowed Now?

Cowork­er #1: So, I had this dream last night. I was look­ing at the ceil­ing, and a rat wear­ing sun­glass­es peeked out at me from the air con­di­tion­ing vent.
Cowork­er #2, catch­ing the end of the con­ver­sa­tion: Was this a dream?

Mel­bourne, Flori­da

Over­heard by: De­spite all my rage…

If I’m Off by Even One Mil­lime­ter, We Might Ex­pe­ri­ence Com­plete Pro­ton Re­ver­sal

Boss: Tara, there is a big stack of Christ­mas cards on your chair. Please put stamps on each one and make sure they are ex­act­ly a quar­ter inch from both the side and the top of the en­ve­lope.
Tara, to cowork­er: Can you bring a ruler over here? I need to put stamps on the Christ­mas cards.

Old Town
San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Glad I’m not the new girl

10AM Print Re­ports

En­gi­neer: Ah, crap.
Sec­re­tary: What­samat­ta?
En­gi­neer: Print­er’s giv­ing me an er­ror mes­sage.
Sec­re­tary: And what does it say?
En­gi­neer: Tray two is emp­ty..
Sec­re­tary: Well, then fill it. Reams are right next to it.
En­gi­neer: Yeah, uh, well, which tray is tray two?
Sec­re­tary: Gee, I don’t know; maybe the one la­beled “two”?
En­gi­neer: Oh, that’s what those num­bers mean?

One Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Has Any­one Not Been There?

Col­league #1 to col­league who is look­ing rather an­gry: Are you okay?
Col­league #2: No, I’m seek dot com dot au an­gry!

Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Gold