Archive for September, 2015

Or Are Sunglasses Allowed Now?

Coworker #1: So, I had this dream last night. I was looking at the ceiling, and a rat wearing sunglasses peeked out at me from the air conditioning vent.
Coworker #2, catching the end of the conversation: Was this a dream?

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Despite all my rage…

If I'm Off by Even One Millimeter, We Might Experience Complete Proton Reversal

Boss: Tara, there is a big stack of Christmas cards on your chair. Please put stamps on each one and make sure they are exactly a quarter inch from both the side and the top of the envelope.
Tara, to coworker: Can you bring a ruler over here? I need to put stamps on the Christmas cards.

Old Town
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Glad I'm not the new girl

10AM Print Reports

Engineer: Ah, crap.
Secretary: Whatsamatta?
Engineer: Printer’s giving me an error message.
Secretary: And what does it say?
Engineer: Tray two is empty..
Secretary: Well, then fill it. Reams are right next to it.
Engineer: Yeah, uh, well, which tray is tray two?
Secretary: Gee, I don’t know; maybe the one labeled “two”?
Engineer: Oh, that’s what those numbers mean?

One Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Has Anyone Not Been There?

Colleague #1 to colleague who is looking rather angry: Are you okay?
Colleague #2: No, I'm seek dot com dot au angry!

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Gold