Archive for August, 2015

If They Pro­vid­ed Lunch, They Would­n’t Have to Pay Us at All

Cube dweller #1, at week­ly com­pa­ny break­fast: Oooh, break­fast. I for­got to­day was break­fast day.
Cube dweller #2: They sure do know how to buy us off. They could take away our chairs and there would on­ly be a mi­nor grum­bling, but if they took away our break­fast… Like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna be a stand­ing agency now.’ ‘Yeah, that’s cool. Just don’t mess with my break­fast.’

233 North Michi­gan Av­enue
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Cube Mon­key

Any­way, I Al­ready Ate Pe­ter’s Foot Skin

Bro­ker #1: Ok, here’s one: would you rather lick the bulge on John­ny’s* leg or eat the skin that Pe­ter* peeled off his foot last year?
Bro­ker #2: As sick as this sounds, I’d take John­ny’s bulge in a sec­ond. I had to sit next to Pe­ter. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pen­cil in it.

440 South LaSalle
Chica­go, Illi­nois